I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize