he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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