She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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