Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
