i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
