I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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