Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
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