I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
