is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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