And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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