So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
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It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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