White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
