its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
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It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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