Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
this beer tastes like vomit already
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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