This is not my ceiling
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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