For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Don't EVER smell your tampon
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
