sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
