I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
