If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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