Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
