Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
