In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
