I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
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Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
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I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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