did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
