you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i believe in u and ur pee
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
