I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
