Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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