I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Green mimosas i think yes
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
