Small penises have feelings too.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All the doctor said was why
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
