this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
