why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
