He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
