i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
