she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
