just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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