3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
