i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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