I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
