I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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