What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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