Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you would pick up someone in the library
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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