You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
