This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
