I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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