And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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