I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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