Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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