Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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