That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys