i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this