I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
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I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream