around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?