some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
