HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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