You're so nebulous sometimes
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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