i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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